CHEERS, JEERS & ADVICE

Cheers – Bill Frist is not running for president!!! And take a sabbatical from politics!!! That leaves McCain and Giuliani as the front-runners.

Jeers – Tom G points out now he won’t be able to use all his ‘FIST FRIST’ posters he was mocking-up.

****************
Cheers - Gov. Bob Taft is actually going to veto a bill that lifts restrictions on most gun ban laws in Ohio – including allowing them in some buildings and parks and the use/purchase of assault weapons.

Jeers - Gov. Bob Taft’s approval rating was/is in the teens. He has no authority here – he’s made sure of that over his 8 yrs as governor. His veto will easily be overturned.

****************
Cheers? – for the “leaked” (leaked, my ass) NSA memo that says “Maliki reiterated a vision of Shia, Sunni, and Kurdish partnership, and in my one-on-one meeting with him, he impressed me as a leader who wanted to be strong but was having difficulty figuring out how to do so.“

Jeers - replace the word “Maliki” with “Bush” and “he impressed me as a leader who wanted to be strong but was having difficulty figuring out how to do so.” it is just as true. Six years in and Shrub’s administration is chiding another leader for something they haven’t (and won’t/can’t) accomplished.

****************
Cheers – the yellow Wiggle is quitting.

Jeers - the red, blue and green Wiggles are not.

****************
Advice

While raking the other day, I smelled something burning badly. I really kind of looked around the house and saw nothing and figured it was an odor that wafted onto the property.

Yesterday I went to throw clothes in the dryer and there was a duvet cover already in there, that wasn’t completely dry. I turned it back on and went to meet a friend for lunch. I came back and the cover was still not dry. I went to change the lint trap and there was nothing on it. Odd. I tried to put it back in it’s holder and it wouldn’t go.

Jammed down that little, yet deep, slot was TONS of lint. An hour later, after pulling some out and then taking off the back of the dryer, I could not believe how much crap accumulated in there. Stuff I still couldn’t reach. On a whim, we started the dryer to blow out the dislodged, but still trapped lint.

Guess what that burning smell was from my raking day? Dryer output. Then I looked at the user guide that says you should clean this out every 2-3 yrs. Let’s see, we’ve had the dryer for 10 yrs and never had done it. The owners before us had it how much longer – and I doubt they ever did it. I’m surprised when I went to lunch I didn’t start and electrical/house fire.

My PSA of the month – check your dyer lint trap!!!

FALL HAS FELL

Technically, Autumn is still in effect for another 25 days or so, but it’s almost over. We’ve had a great one – with the last week being in the 60s. But this upcoming Friday, we are slated to have snow and highs in the 30s. I can’t really complain (like that has ever stopped me), because in theory, we have cut off one month of winter. Normally, we would have snow by Halloween-y, and temps in the 30s that would last until late March.

This extended bonus period helped with our leaf collection. Hell, the trees even held onto them suckers later this year – or at least that is my perception. They are now all off the trees….raked or mulched or bagged or taken to the street for pick-up. I’ve got the sore back to prove it.

I’m ready for snow-fall! Ok, not really. Somewhere in the last few years I’ve become a freeze-baby. I don’t give a crap how much it snows, as long as it’s not frigid. And by frigid, of course I mean below 58 degrees.

Below are some before and after shots of the yard. What a difference 10 days makes.

YES, I’M STILL MOVED

….not that many people would know it.

The change to this URL has continued to present challenges on a number of fronts. Ok, maybe two.

I still haven’t recovered most of my archives, let alone got them up and running from the last three years. That is just laziness on my part and I am completely at fault. The fix I don’t have, and don’t know exactly how to remedy, is getting readers to not use the old URL.

Those using the old URL will invariably hit a brick wall once the monthly bandwidth that I paid for has been met or exceeded. Back in the day, I never had enough readership to come close to meeting (let alone exceeding) the purchased bandwidth. However in the last 3-4 months, traffic has increased by about 40%. Since it is the old hosting site, I’m certainly not paying to increase the bandwidth on an address I plan to scrap.

This is now the third month where readers using the old URL get a message saying the site cannot be accessed and to please try later. What Netidentity doesn’t say in said message, is that ‘later’ won’t be until the first of the month.

The first time this happened it was only two days before first of the month – and it was a weekend, so not a huge deal. But again, as readership grew, the bandwidth wall has been hit earlier and earlier in the month.

Last month I thought I had the solution: Anyone going to the old URL got a message about using the new address and to make note of it. I think my mistake was I made it too easy for them. Readers automatically got redirected to the new site after 5 seconds. No one needed to really take note of the new address. Needless to say, traffic to my site plummets – up to 70%!

I’m not talking just the casual visitors here either – even family members used the redirect route as a crutch. …and don’t even get me started on Rebecca not updating the link from her page!!!!

So once I can get access to the Netidentity site (yes, even I don’t get access when we’ve hit exceeded usage) in a few days there will be some changes. I’m thinking a two-tiered approach: the first month is having the new address embedded where users can click to be redirected. The next month the URL will be visible, but not clickable.

The old URL is paid for through March, so eventually the messages will get more pointed and deadlines drawn. I really don’t know another way to get the word out. If anyone has other thoughts – I’d love to hear them.

THE NEVERENDING STORY

(insert Limahl warbling here….you know you want to)

Look! It’s the GAME. I spied it at Blood, Bath & Beyond (I’ll assume it’s a ‘beyond’).

So many things wrong with this product. The first thing that struck me was that this is not only a game you can’t win – it is one that is…(say it with me) never ending!!!!

Secondly, look at the box cover (as always – click pic to make bigger). It’s clearly a Season 2 thing. The Tailies are pictured in the group. Considering there is not one ‘Tailie’ that is currently alive on the show, you’d assume this would be at bargain basement pricing. It might have been actually – I didn’t even bother to look. There are also 15 people on the box cover, yet the game is only for 2-8 players. Clearly someone is not making it off the island!

HINT (and spoiler alert for anyone who hasn’t, but plans to, see the show): Do yourself a favor – if you get the game, pick Mr. Ecko, Anna Lucia or Libby as your player/character. At least you know there is an end-point!

The show that started out so promising, in a Lord of the Flies kinda way, is history for me. It has been since it neared the end of season two. I just can’t and don’t watch anymore. Denton still likes to watch it, but I have him DVR it so he can fast forward through – and usually when I’m not around.

Who really wants to watch a show where none of the ‘protagonists’ win? Ever. They never ever ever catch one break. Ever. It just gets frustrating to see that after these people get pushed down, then they just get beaten….again. It’s exhausting and frustrating – for all involved, I would imagine. Oh I know, I know – maybe ‘the others’ are the actual protagonists…blah blah blah.

I guess the networks need to axe themselves – is it so wrong to have a really successful show that has an end-date? One where they actually resolve things and then just move on to another show? I know it’s about the almighty dollar. I get that. But is that revenue better than the eventual: ‘how did they let a critically acclaimed premised become so fucked up in their thinking?’ – which is what will invariably happen….if it hasn’t already.

HA – I just noticed, that except for the image, I never even mention the name of the show – let alone link to it.

update: It was pointed out that Bernard, a tailie, isn’t dead. It is an obvious mistake, since over a two season period he’s been on-screen for about a total of 33 minutes. And not shown at all in the last like 13 episodes. I forgot he existed….as has his agent.

DATE NIGHT

Yesterday was movie night. We checked out For Your Consideration.

Is it great? Probably not. Is it good? Oh yeah.

Surely it’s enjoyable (yes, I know – ‘don’t call me Shirley’), but is it in the same category as the last three Christopher Guest movies? My initial response would be to say ‘no’ – but I’m not sure that’s fair. I thought A Mighty Wind and Waiting for Guffman each took multiple viewings to really appreciate them. Best in Show was a little more accessible.

The usual suspects appear (if you are familiar with the above three films) in the new movie and are integrated a bit more than they were in A Mighty Wind. I thought Parker Posey was majorily under-utilized there. In this movie, it is Michael Hitchcock who could/should have been used more. Not to give much away for this plot, but it revolves around the making of a movie and possible Oscar contention. I’m seeing a parallel real-life script being played out now with Catherine O’Hara for her role. Ironically, I her role as “Mickey” in A Mighty Wind was stronger, more nuanced and one I thought deserved a nomination.

As with all of Guest movies, there are several great lines and visuals – some of them very quick and easily missed. Yes, once again, I was the only person in the theatre laughing at times. And there is always at least one song.

If you haven’t seen Guest’s directorial debut, The Big Picture, you should. A more cautionary Hollywood tale than For Your Consideration. It’s not great by any stretch of the imagination, but it has some high points. Part of the cast is/was from This is Spinal Tap – and Martin Short steals every scene he’s in. But it’s the fantasy sequences that are good – as is Jennifer Jason Leigh (in a seldom seen non-creepy role!). It also provides half the material for ‘Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon’.

Knowing what’s out there in the theatres, you can do a lot worse than For Your Consideration. I’m guessing it’s one for DVD reviewing – multiple times.

WHAT TO GET MORTY FOR XMAS

David Soul and Paul Michael Glaser wish they were ever this buff. Hutch, however, was probably always this stiff with his acting (don’t get me started on his ‘recording’ career). I could not get a good enough look to see if Starsky’s ‘action figure’ included his ‘action mole’. As expected, there is no Huggie Bear action figure.

To be honest – I didn’t check the price on these guys. Since they’re out of the original box, their value has got to be diminished – not unlike being portrayed by Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson.

Of course, Paul Michael Glaser gets major points for working with AIDS organizations.

DIAGNOSIS

So, I received a few emails regarding a follow-up to my post-appendectomy story. I guess I can accommodate.

When we last checked in with our hero – mild mannered (then) orientation program assistant, Blobby: On my second day back at work (four weeks later), I get a call from the Emergency Room saying they found ’something’ on one of my xrays and I really need to see someone……..

In most medical practice settings, it is a crap shoot if anyone is going to be helpful. The nurse could tell me nothing…or next to nothing. She confirmed that there was a ’shadow’ on one of the films they took a month back. When further questioned, all I got was a laundry list of things it could be – or that it could possibly be nothing. …and I was told I had to see the orthopaedic surgeon who was on call that night I was in the E.D. – even though I wasn’t there for an ortho problem. Oh – and he was a Sports Med doc, because a shadow on my x-ray indicated a sports related injury.

Though I got in fairly quickly to see him, my mind had already gone to the dark place. That is my M.O. – envision worst case scenario and you’re never bound to be disappointed. Smart thinking, eh? I got put through some very uncomfortable positions to take a series of x-rays of my right leg. Then I was put in the exam room for that prolonged waiting period. Somehow each five minute period is triple that in your mind – or as I call it: Soap Opera Time.

I had worked on oncology floors in my past and always heard that when the word ‘cancer’ was used in a diagnosis that it is the last thing the patient hears. But I’m smarter than that. I knew this going in – and my dark place had me all prepared. That is, until the doctor came back and said the word ‘tumor’. He blabbed other shit after that – but I didn’t hear a word of it. Not one. Somewhere I did pick up on him referring me to a orthopaedic oncologist. The nurse gave me the name and number as I was leaving.

My friends did a lot more for my mental status. Beer helped. Lots and lots of beer. Ruckiry (not Jon’s boss) there was always lots of cheap beer around. We kept Black Label in their profits for this entire time period. And though I had not (and have never) seen Kindergarten Cop, their tag line to cheer me up was: “it’s not a tum-ah” (remember – you have to say it in an Ah-nald Schwartzengger). I did kind of get the last laugh when I pulled up to my apartment building where everyone was waiting and I got to say “It is a tum-ah”.

I called Dr. Weis (the oncologist) the next day – and told the scheduler I was hoping to get in before Thanksgiving, which was the following week. Though it’s great to get immediate service, it’s not the best when accompanied by, “oh we always get these type of diagnosis in within 24 hrs”. There’s a confidence builder.

More x-rays followed there. Nothing conclusive other than they knew it was a tumor. I probably should have kept my mouth shut, but told my parents over the T-giving weekend.

Over the course of the next several weeks, there were CT scans and MRIs (which is like being in a tube with a dozen guys hitting hammers all over the place . THIS is technology?). Still nothing more conclusive than a mass in the bone.

Then a few weeks later it was a bone scan – which was the most interesting of all my tests. First the technicians come in wearing outfits made partially of lead. Then they take a syringe out of a lead-lined container, and inject you with the radioactive material. It’s not like I was planning on having kids anyway. You are required to lie on this table while a scanner runs the length of the table and then back again – to get the anterior and posterier sides of your body. Oh – and you can’t move at all. It takes 40 minutes. The image, which comes out on a transparency-like paper shows the outline of the patient’s body with any hot spots. There is was (again), that shadow in the right femur. (The above pic is not of me – or even my actual diagnosis. The fuckers wouldn’t give me a copy and I wanted one!)

The bone scan showed but the other imaging tests – that it was a tumor. But the bone scan showed one other thing: activity. This was something they needed to know before moving on to the worst (and last) test – the bone biopsy. This would determine tumor status: malignancy or not. First they had me orally take 10mg of valium….which btw did not even touch me. Damn drug tolerances! But they numbed a portion of my leg and then pulled out the needle. Did I say needle? More like some fuckin medieval contraption. I think they used a device like this to lay the Union Pacific railway. Maybe 20″ long and thicker than any needle you’ve ever seen. I swear it wasn’t shiny either – but a bronzish colour. Definitely not a needle you get blood drawn with.

The ‘needle’ went in with absolutely no pain. Drugs are a great thing. However, drugs don’t numb bone. When Dr. Weis hit the bone, well, you do your best Dr. Smith (the boy-hungry pedohile) from Lost in Space ….”oh the pain….THE PAIN!” Anticipating this, the doc told me to squeeze the med student’s hand when it became painful, as it would distract me. The poor guy will never be a surgeon with the four broken fingers I surely inflicted on him. btw…I still have the scar from that biopsy.

Test results weren’t immediate. Dr. Weis had a three-week ski trip he had scheduled. It was the holidays anyway. But when he did come back, I had a 3:00 p.m. appointment with him. I just walked from my office to the health center. After sitting there for 45 minutes, finally the nurse came back and said that Dr. Weis wanted to push my appointment of the last of the day…4:30. Yeah – I’m sure he waits till the last patient to pass along good news – is what I was thinking in my head. Then I said it out loud when I called back to the office to tell them not to lock-up, as I didn’t bring my keys with me.

Say what you want – my dark place, to a degree, worked. My knowledge of how medical offices, to a degree, worked. I knew what was coming and this time I was prepared. I did get news of malignancy. I did get a name for the cancer: chondrosarcoma. I did have questions on procedures and treatments, which there are few. The doc and his nurse were seemingly impressed by my laundry list of questions.

The tumor was self-contained in the femur. There was no spreading anywhere – which was good. At least at the time, radiation and chemo were not necessary. Removal of the tumor however, was. Since the tests I had just had were the baseline, there was no way of telling how fast or slow growing the tumor might be, but we determined we should get it out sooner than later.

coming attractions: surgery

T-GIVING……..again

It’s THAT day. The holiday everyone seems to love. Personally, I find the food to be horribly bland – and you’ll never get me to eat a yam, a sweet potatoe or pumpkin anything.

Overall, 2006 has been a pretty shitty year. I’m not usually the ’silver-lining’ kinda guy. I know I have some things to be thankful for. Denton, Tovah and Sophie being the three biggest. Kylie too. Decent health is in there, I guess. A family who isn’t completely completely nuts always helps. Dems have the House and Senate. Bush has a 31% approval rating (and dropping). Ted Haggard starring in ‘The Paul Lynde Review’, which I’m sure will hit the Bonnie Franklin Dinner Theatre sometime in 2007! I also have really good friends, whom I adore…even if I don’t tell them as often as I should. (ok, I only made one of those up – but you have to figure out which.)

Props for the day go out to York & Stuart. They’ve had a tough year too and yet are hosting T-giving dinner for 20-30 students who attend the college where Stuart works, but who cannot make it home for the holiday. More power to them!!

MEMORIES (like the phone booths on my block)*

On Monday I was in Columbus. I had a scheduled meeting later in the afternoon, so I had lunch with two friends and then scheduled to have dinner with other friends in the evening (ok, some of the lunch and dinner crowd was overlapping).

To get where we were eating dinner, Dith and I traveled down High St. Going this route, we would have had to proceeded through the campus area. Just north of campus is a place where, when I was working at OSU, Morty and I would dine every now and again. Morty ate at Nancy’s Home Cooking more than I did – but I never ate there without him.

Nancy’s was/is small. Seating was made-up mostly of counter seats and of course, there are never any together. No matter how many you had in your party you’re always one seat short. One had to be prepared to stand and wait for people to finish and leave. It’s really quite a vulturish venue.

Chris is the proprietor (I’m assuming Nancy was retired or long dead) and she was friendly to all who entered. If you want a drink refill – just go behind the counter and get it yourself. I never felt enough like a regular to do this. I’d pace myself on whatever drink I got. If I remember, there were always like four things on the menu – which no one ever ordered. And when I say ‘no one’ – I don’t mean those who were with us, I mean everyone who dined there. Everyone gets ‘the special’. There was/is one special per day.

One day, Morty and I took Kris (who was working as a graduate asst in Orientation at the time) to Nancy’s with us. Not only did we get to sit together, we didn’t have to sit at the counter. We got a table all the way along the far wall, but still close to the counter. Everything was close to the counter though.

Mind you – this is 1993 (?). Cellphones as we know them today were non-existent. There were these things called ‘mobile’ phones – or telephonic devices usually mounted in one’s automobile. Hang with me on this one….

We’re eating and the diner phone rings. Chris answers. Since there is no speakerphone, like us, you will just have to use your imagination the other side of the conversation:

Chris: Today? Beef tips.
(pause)
Chris: No. Beef tips!
(pause)
Chris: Beef Tips!!
(pause)
Chris: NO!!! TIPS !!!!!
(hangs up phone)
Chris: Damn mobile phones!

Every single customer: uproarious laughter!!!

*title totally lifted from Medusa: Dare to be Truthful

EWWWWWWWWWW

Tom G and Morty showed me this commercial yesterdee when we were sitting around Eddie George’s Grille having lunch. Yes, I had a trip to Columbus yesterday, which later I may or may not expound upon. We’ll see how things go.

…anywhooo….the ad is hilarious!