(unless something really fuckin’ good happens!)
Continuing from my Billy Idol post a few weeks back – I cannot stop laughing at both David and Morty’s other track selections. Yet no one could come up with a holiday take on “Eyes Without a Face” or “Cradle of Love”. For shame readers!
But it all comes back to Morty. …and now it is surpassed by Rebecca. Click here to see me actually “Dancing With My Elf”*.
I have NOT been able to stop laughing for about the last 25 minutes!
I’ve never been a huge fan of New Year’s Eve. The night always seems so forced. I learned to tell time months ago and I certainly don’t need to be told when to kiss someone, though 12:00 mn does give one an opportunity to try to plant your lips on someone whom you might not have a chance with otherwise. I don’t remember actually doing that, but it’s an option to keep open. Or was.
It has been a while since I’ve ventured out on this night. I’ve alluded to here before that I don’t drink as much as I used to – actually, barely at all (but I guess that’s all relative). Even when I partake, I’m usually at home. But it dawned on me that almost everyone out on the road during the early morning of January 1st is drunk drunk drunk. Who needs that?? I’ve done my share of driving while intoxicated and (thankfully) never got stopped or had an accident. On a night like tonite, you’re kind of just axing for it. I’m happy staying at home, fixing a good dinner and throw in a DVD. Chances are I’m in bed well before midnight.
Two NYEs in particular stand out for me. One kind of funny – one kind of not and both good examples on why to stay in. Let’s start with the latter.
About 10 yrs ago, Denton and I were out with my boss (at the time) and his wife. Completely low-key night of beer, wings and darts. Not the crappy electronic ones – but real ones which I had purchased for a store that sold only darts. I learned the art of the double-in/double-out. I never punctured anyone with a stray shot.
Anyhoo….we were sitting in Pacers drinking and I noticed walking in a girl woman I had known since I was in 6th grade. We were inseparable for years. Scarily, we were a lot alike. After she left OSU we didn’t have much contact, though I did drag Morty to her wedding. She married a man I had never met….some former Army guy….all of 5′4″. I intercepted Ann and her husband, John (?) as they walked in. She was glad to see me, but they were in a ‘rush’. Soon they were to rush right back out.
It turns out that John didn’t like me much and wasn’t going to be in the same establishment that I inhabited. Lord knows what he had heard, but apparently he was jealous of me. ME?!!
Going by stories I had heard after their divorce, my guess is she got the crap beaten out of her later that night. Probably not because of me, I was just a reason to do it. Apparently it happened quite a bit. Years later, we’d catch up and she told me all about it. Then the evening just deteriorated: why didn’t I love her? why was I with Denton? why couldn’t it have I have been with her instead? How do you answer these questions? I didn’t need a psychology degree to see that this was a fall-out of her abuse and divorce, but I couldn’t get her to see that. It ended badly. We haven’t talked or seen each other again. Oy.
The other story is on a different end of the speculum spectrum.
I was checking with Morty the other day about a trip we made to Chicago for NYE. We both have some shared memories of said trip – but for the life of us we don’t know a year or who may or may not have gone with us. I do know Denton was there – but we can’t remember if Mitchell was. Our discussion got to the point where Morty emailed me: ‘Did this trip actually happen, or did we make it all up!?’
A goooood and legitimate question. Truth be told – we had a few of these trips. Here’s what we do agree on – or at least pieced together:
It was COLD. The night was 12 below zero, without the wind! We were told the L didn’t run after midnight – and we believed whomever told us. It was a lie. After some party we walked and walked and walked. I had an illicit substance in a pocket that I would have gladly shown to any police officer just to feel the warmth of the back of a squad car. But there were none to be found – it was too cold out for the cops! Naturally, being our (read: queer) culture, one wore things like jeans ripped in the right places….and shirts with the sleeves ripped off and wife-beaters underneath those. Not much protection against the Windy City elements. We were morons.
I certainly can’t won’t comment on anything my traveling companions may or may not have done, but I could for me and it’s not pretty. I do remember meeting up with some Chicago friends at Manhole the next evening. To really get in, you needed leather or to at least be shirtless. Well we didn’t own leather – so in subzero temps, the shirts came off. UGH. Not pretty and not fun. Manhole is closed now and I have no doubt it was probably the result of something we did there that night. It’s hard to say.
I do remember outside the Manhole running into an old Columbus resident, Dan Stain. Oh how he went on and on about a friend of mine, Jon. “Jon this. Jon that. Blah blah blah.” So, I go on to update him on where Jon is (oh oh oh Morty, I just realized after writing this – this trip had to be after 1992, since Jon S. had moved that year!) and what he was doing. Dan looked at me quizzically, then said, “I’m talking about John C.” It never would have occurred to me he was talking of ‘John/Sheba’. I immediately lost interest in the conversation and just moved on. I’m like that.
So, I figured this many details had to come from a real excursion. I would venture to say it was a fun trip, even if we don’t quite remember it. But I am way too old for that kind of weekend now.
Yeah, dinner and a DVD sounds good for tonite. I’ll hear the gunfire when it hits midnight.
UPDATE: Rebecca is quite right. The first New Years in Cleveland (which was 2 days after moving here), I went with Rebecca and her brother to a Public Square celebration. We relied on public transportation (which Homer Simpson says is for ‘losers’ and ‘lesbians’). That was fine on the way down – not so much on the way back. Getting on a train was like getting into a Who concert in Cincinnati! Then there were no taxis or busses at our stop. A good 2-3 mile hike in unshoveled shin-deep snow back to Paul’s house. How could I forget that???? Make that three incidents just to stay warm and cozy @ home.
Categories: Friends
Dith was nice enough to find me this nice job – or one of the Top 10 Worst Jobs in Science.
Semen Washer
It’s a job that separates the boys from the men
OK, OK, their real job title is usually something like “cryobiologist” or “laboratory technician,” but at sperm banks around the country, they are known as semen washers. “Every time I interview someone I make sure I ask them, ‘Do you know you’ll be working with semen?’ ” says Diana Schillinger, the Los Angeles lab manager at the country’s largest sperm bank, California Cryobank. Let’s start at the beginning. Laboriously prescreened “donors” emerge from a so-called collection room that is stocked with girlie mags and triple-X DVDs. They hand over their deposit, get their $75, and leave. The semen washers take the seminal goo and place a sample under the microscope for a sperm count. Next comes the washing. The techs spin the sample in a centrifuge to separate the “plasma” from the motile cells. Then they add a preservative, and it’s off to the freezer, where it can stay for 20 years. Or not. Thanks to semen washers (and in vitro fertilization), more than 250,000 babies have been delivered in the U.S. since 1995.
I just wonder if it has a 401k or 403b plan. …and Dental.
In 2006, I’ve purchased a number of cds – legitimately, I might add! Some were from the brick & mortars, but about half were through iTunes. Until this year, I had never bought an entire disk off of the site – only individual songs here and there.
From the 15 or so disks I’ve shelled out cash for this year, I thought since I do an album of the month, it only stands to reason I do an album of the year.
The Chicks get the nod for 2006. Hands down.
I can only say I was ever a half-fan. On each cd, half their music was good and half was just ok….sometimes not even that. But they kind of won me over on this record. And though I’d like to talk about the music and not “the incident”, but the Chicks make that a tad bit difficult.
Musically, the songs on Taking the Long Way are very strong – or most of them (Honestly, I skip right over “Lullabye” and “I Hope”). Yeah, regarding the comment, they went for the dig with “Not Ready to Make Nice”, but it works. There is stronger material on the disk, but unfortunately radio would never hear it. The pseudo title song, “The Long Way Around” is possibly the best they have done in their career. Songwriting, harmonies and vocal arrangements are tight!
I don’t care what the press releases led anyone to believe, Taking the Long Way is not a radical departure from their previous albums. Rick Rubin’s production is solid, but he doesn’t greatly deviate from their style. How can he when fiddle, banjo and guitar are your mainstays? The songs weren’t that serviceable to non-country radio (I love “Lubbock or Leave It” – but how is that gonna play on MOR or AOR radio?) and country radio wasn’t gonna touch it, well, because they are small minded.
Some songs stand out instantly – like “Voice Inside My Head”, “The Long Way Around”, “Everybody Knows” and “Not Ready..”. As with a number of their other disks, I had to do mutliple listens before appreciating some of their songs – this cd is no exception. I’ve come to really like “Lubbock” “Favorite Year” and “Easy Silence”.
On a the non-musical side, I love how they have carried themselves. True, they might have gotten more mileage out of this disk if “Not Ready..” wasn’t the lead single. It opened old wounds with radio – but on the other hand, there was no way to avoid it. They went in with all guns blazing. And it probably hurt their sales with less than 2 million sold vs the over 10 million sold for each of their first two disks (and 6 million for their last, when ‘the’ comment was made).
I do love that they are also up for five Grammys (though it’s an award I think holds very little merit) – and some of them are for Country album and song of the year. Wouldn’t it just kill Nashville if they won?
For fun – you should read the amazon reviews of this disk…especially the one star and five star ratings. Almost none of them are based on the disk or music – just political rants.
My (very close) runner-up: Rosanne Cash’s Black Cadillac.
What’s your favourite disk from 2006?
Categories: Music · Record of the Month
When you see the thousands of ‘bound date-telling pages’ to choose from at Borders – you kind of, sort of expect to see this:
You don’t really expect this……do you? Or is it just me?
As much as you probably can’t hang the first one up in your work office now & days (unless you work in an auto body shop or something) – it’s more than likely you have a lesser chance of putting up the latter…at least without a derogatory name (or two) being lobbed your way.
And really – how many does one have to sell to get an ROI on ‘Brokeback’ calendars?
Believe it or don’t – but for some reason, it never occurred to me to take out the camera during our dinner party last Friday. It was also Sophie’s first holiday….which btw…she was the big hit of all the people who came over – family and friends. So here are some of other holiday pics…and thankfully none of me!
Sophie liked to help deocrate the tree
Sophie liked to play in the tree
Sophie liked to be by the tree
Sophie liked to just look at the tree
The tree itself. It represented better in real life
My spinach parmesan balls. Ok Ok, they’re not my recipie….but I did make them. Again, something else that represented better in real life. Now I know why Bloghungry says it takes so long to photograph his food. But they tasted great!
Oh – and Soph liked the wrapping paper – a LOT!
Categories: Pets
…that I have not watched Pee Wee’s Christmas Special – which IS the bestest holiday special of all time.
Actually, it used to be that once a year was never enough, which is how I used to have my Christmas in July party. I believe the last occasion for this party, while in Columbus, most attendees ended up bringing me wrapped fruitcake bricks. It did get to the point where almost everyone who attended knew all of the lines….all of the inflections…all of the pauses. It’s rare that an email isn’t exchanged at the year’s first snow-fall where the subject isn’t: “It’s Sno-oh-oh-oh-oh-ing”.
Of course, for some, it got to the point where there was an internal collective sigh when the show wasn’t viewed – at least in a group, where the tape almost became secondary.
The guests are fun and funny – too many to name and too out there to adequately due justice in a blog. The whole thing is gettable, even if you weren’t a Pee Wee’s Playhouse fan (though it helps a bit). And as implied earlier, the entire things is quoteable. Every. Single. Line.
Thank g-d that it finally came to DVD a few years back. My VHS copy was worn out. I was going to buy a new one on eBay, but didn’t have to. And as the ultimate xmas gift, I had a copy sent to all my good friends.
So, I missed viewing it before xmas this year. No biggie. I think I still have a week timeframe to get it in before the holidays are over.
If you haven’t seen it – you must. You MUST.
Categories: TV/Movies
“….and what do YOU want for Christmas, little boy?”
Man – I suck the life out of any holiday, can’t I?
Oddly enough, Michael looks more like the Tin Man in a Santa suit than he does just a pervy St.Nick. I think it’s the nose.
Well, if this doesn’t keep you awake tonite, here’s hoping that everyone enjoys their holiday.
Categories: Humour
Betcha didn’t think I’d make a post today – did ya?
Last night we had our holiday get together. Lower key then last year, but no less special (except for the fact that Jon, Dith David & Duck couldn’t join us*). 10 people just hanging out, enjoying food, wine, beer, cookies and lots of good conversation and laughter.
The cocktail/hors d’oeuvres party turned into a sit down dinner….courtesy of Rebecca. As a mother of two young girls, sitting down to the dinner table is a luxury for her. At first I was concerned that guests were not expecting this, nor were we situated to seat 10. But we had a card table, we put up and though the inevitable jokes about a ‘kids table’ surface, they also quickly passed. We were left with food and talk.
A simple meal of salad, fruit and beef tenderloin with lots and lots and lots of wine. LOTS. When Bob & Matt were leaving, Bob confided, “I think I had an entire bottle of wine.” My response was, “don’t worry, so has everyone else!”.
Ruckiry (not Jon’s boss), the conversation never deteriorated too much…though we did go on about SNL’s Dick in a Box, but could you blame us? With some of us old-timers, who have known each other for almost two decades, well….we know each others stories. That’s a nice way of putting it. With this familiarity, I think we’ve been known to accidently shut others out – but we were soooo good that this time it didn’t happen. I don’t think. I may have consumed a bottle of wine…or more.
The only embarrassment of the evening came early on. Hardwood floors, me in socks and leaning against the back of a leather sofa is (and was) just a recipie for disaster. Talking with a friend, I found my extended feet begining to slide…and there was nothing to stop me. Damn Sir Isaac Newton! On the upside, I only spilled the wine I was holding and did not drop or break the glass. The only thing hurt was my pride.
However, during dinner I was outed……..as being a blogger. Surprisingly as it sounds, not everyone knew this fact. And going by the number of hits I don’t get, it’s not a complete shock either. (sigh)
* full disclosure: I didn’t actually invite, Jon or David & Duck – since I knew they weren’t crossing state lines to just join us for dinner. It does not make them any less missed. Dith? Well….she just blew us off!
Categories: Friends
