Little Ol Jet Liner

Yesterday I did a one-day trip to DC. Normally I’m there for a number in row. I still feel like I was gone for days.

But there were plane delays getting out of Dulles. It got so bad that I actually wrote out this blog post on an airline napkin!!! (see / click image on left). To make it easier – I’ll type out what I wrote:

They don’t want my thoughts. I don’t like United. I don’t like sitting on a tarmac for two plus hours because the Pittsburgh airport is closed, even though we’re not going to Pittsburgh. I am willing to risk climbing through the bad weather to get home. Dulles is the ugliest airport ever, but we can’t see it, because we are stuck in the plane. Still. Maybe we could have made it out if they didn’t overbook the flight by 15 people and then ask for volunteers to give up their seats for the next 40 minutes. Or let two people on who had the same seat assignment, one of whom refused to leave the plane without said seat. Isn’t that what the auto-ticket scanning system is for? WTF!? But here we sit. Hot. Sweaty. Beginning to stink. Unless I travel, I rarely wear deoderant. I’m not that into mansmells, but I hate clogging my pores and honestly, I don’t sweat that easily. I wore it today, but it is 97 outside and hotter IN the plane. I keep flashing on a Seinfeld episode:

Elaine: Mrs. Seinfeld, I am BEGGING you, turn the air conditioner on!
Mrs. Seinfeld: You’re hot?
Elaine: I’ve lost six pounds.

And so it is only an hour flight – in theory – there is no food. And of course, by food I mean peanuts or pretzels. I am hoping we don’t go back to the terminal. I have no change of clothes. I have no phone charger. I have no meds. So far the folks are well behaved, but it’s only a matter of time before they turn. And they will. I will. Have the airlines learned nothing from the Jet Blue / Valentine’s Day debacle? And of course, it is considered ‘act of g-d’, if the flight is cancelled, there is no compensation – just a blanket to cover ourselves in the terminal. So I’m also sitting here wondering how people make it overseas. I swear I’m getting a DVT as I just wait to hear IF we’ll be leaving. So – those are my thoughts. Where are my fucking 100,000 miles??

As it turns out, about 20 minutes after I wrote this, they found a window to take off. Somehow, even though no one was allegedly taking off for almost three hours, we were first in line to go. I found that odd….and unlikely.

I left the house at 4:30 a.m. and got home after 9:00 p.m. I am beat.


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