Travels With Me – Past & Present

I hate waking up not knowing where I am.

I know – you’re thinking I was drunk (again) or high (again) – but you’d be wrong. This time.

To be honest, even when drunk and passed out – and coming to, I usually knew where I was, why I was there and with whom…for better or worse. Usually the latter. But no, today was different. I was sober – as I normally am these days. It is just sleep deprivation and travel schedules.

I woke up in a hotel room and honest to g-d did not know what city I was in. It was probably all of 10 seconds before I realized I was in Houston, but it was one of those 10 seconds that lasted 10 minutes.

I was out the door at 4:15 (A.M!!!!) to make a 6:00 a.m. flight. Zoiks! I don’t sleep on planes and I had to endure a silent version of some animated penguin movie called Surfs Up. I wasn’t about to put in my earbuds to listen to that crap – and unfortunately I cannot sleep on planes.

I also find that I cannot not watch the monitor to see a movie I have no interest in. And I try to fill-in the storyline without knowing anything about said movie. Normally this is not hard to do – and be accurate. It shows what a low threshold Hollywood has with their projects.

The first time I did this was coming back from Los Angeles with Morty. Oh – he went out like a light. I had to endure Straight Talk – with Dolly Parton and James Wood! (who the fuck thought pairing these two was a good idea? hey! didn’t I say that about two other actors in another post recently??) …and this children, is why you should not do MDA eight hours before a 6:00 a.m. flight from Los Angeles (or any other city). Or it’s one of the reasons. Though looking back, sitting outside the airport for two hours with the ‘the white zone is for loading and unloading of passengers only – there is no parking in the white zone’ repeated every 10 seconds, now seems amusing when then it made me absolutely maniacal.

But I digress.

Up at 4a, a flight to Houston (ugliest. big. city. ever.), all day meetings and then back to a hotel in a SKEY-ary section of town that had free but sporadic high-speed wireless.

I could go down memory lane about Houston. Having been there only once when Rebecca (have you pre-ordered her book yet?) lived there with He Who Must Not Be Named (and no, it wasn’t a noseless Ralph Finnes). Becky took a drunk (shock!) Morty & me to the Beer Can House (see above picture). She was a little disappointed that we were non-plussed by it all. Now that I’m a home owner, I can only imagine that thing drives down property values for those around it. But it’s Houston – everything drives down property values.

Oh – and the Beer Can House? It is one of the few stories about our Houston visit I can actually probably relay in this blog. Well, there was the oldest bar in Houston where we went – and that was kind of cool. Down near Rice (I think) and the newest song on the jukebox was Peggy Lee singing “Is That All There Is” – which was way cool. I know Becky was trying to show us a few neat things – we saw it more as a stop to get a drink. Don’t even get me started on Sally Hansen & Pepsi!

But I’m home now. For 12 hours. Then I’m off again.

Mark my words though……I’ll be back!!!!


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