I haven’t really posted any Monday Moanings lately, mostly because they just haven’t been very good.
For those who do not know, the Moanings are a forum within the Cleveland Plain Dealer that appear every………….wait for it……………Monday! It just turns out people who submit them are a bunch of Grandpa Simpsons who will grumble about anything.
It used to be that sometimes the entire lot is good, but now I am lucky if there is one decent one in the bunch. So, I will cherry-pick some from the last few weeks and/or months….in no particular order.
“My Huntington Bank ATM asks which do I prefer, English or Spanish? Perhaps Huntington would like any fees paid in pesos.” — Streetsboro
“Channel 19 should be called the ‘cleavage station.’ Why those women broadcasters don’t do more coverage of their bodies rather so much as the news is beyond me.” — Middleburg Heights
“The only thing worse than country music is Christmas country music.” — Parma
“A plea to pharmaceutical companies: What’s so wonderful about all those round pills which frequently fall on the floor and roll away so they are hard to find? How about a shape that doesn’t roll, like oval or square?” — Mayfield Heights
“Whenever my wife and I go to the store or res taurant, we al ways are greeted by ‘Hi, guys.’ When did it be come OK to call a woman ‘guy’?” – North Olmsted
“Why doesn’t someone on the food channel tell Rachael Ray to tie her hair back? She has brushed her hair back with her hand and put it right back in the food. Disgusting.” — No city
“What’s happening that we don’t see them singing the national anthem at baseball or football games anymore on TV? Also, when are the men going to stop shaving their heads? Bald is not beautiful. It is ugly.” — West Salem
Ok – the last one might be my favourite…at least of this bunch, even if it hits a bit close to home…….and not because of my butchering of the National Anthem.
Song by: Mamas & the Papas