(Everyone Knows It’s) Cindy

Over the course of some emails with my daily email group, we got to talking about all the places we lived in Columbus and how, where and why we moved.

As it happens, it did not take long for the direction to take a turn regarding roommates, boyfriends, visits to those apartments and said relationships along with the things we did and said about them.

Trust me, we’re not striving to be the electronic-aged Algonquin Round Table here – it ends up more like The View (I would assume), but with Kathy Griffin, Andy Dick, Amy Sedaris and Sir Conan Doyle. (Yes, I just threw four random names together – but the last one always solved the mystery and invariably we had to work through the when, where and whys of the past 20 years – so he kind of makes sense.)

Anyway – the story morphed to a location where someone’s boyfriend lived and how at one point I went over there to by Ecstasy. No judgements people, this was a LONG time ago! But there were a bunch of guys sitting around whom I knew but didn’t know know. Ruckiry (not Jon’s boss) a good friend of mine was there, who I will not implicate by name. Anyway, these guys were sitting around drinking and lord knows what else, while watching A Very Brady Christmas.

Ok – xmas specials at best are made in a huge cheese factory, and this one was no exception. Actually, it was a Limburger, that’s why I wouldn’t dance with it.

But if you’ve seen it, you’ll remember that at some point all the Bradys go around their holiday table confessing something or other: one was secretly unemployed, one couple was having marital problems, Bobby was doing soft-core porn (ok, I made that one up!).

But then they get to Cindy. Well, clearly the salary wasn’t enough to entice the original Cindy to do this show – or maybe she just insisted on script approval and lost (or won, in this instance). They had a stand-in Cindy. So, as they get to her, I blurt out my made-up dialogue for her part.

“I’m not really Cindy! She said she never wanted to be part of this family anymore and I needed the job!!!!” I’m paraphrasing because it has been like 17 yrs and I was most likely drunk at the time.

All eyes turned towards me and attempted to burn holes in me. Like that ever works!

My friends laughed, but the rest were taking this tv holiday moment oh so seriously. I mean, they would have thought it was something serious – like Knots Landing!

Song by: The Association (well, kind of)


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