Crystal

“Thank you for going with me to an incredibly mediocre movie”. Believe it or not, that quote didn’t even come out of my mouth, but Denton’s.

I’ve been woefully behind on my promise to do an average of one movie per month. Not rental or HBO movies, but ones out at the theater with living, breathing people.Ok , at least breathing. And eating. L-rd, those movie goers can put away the nachos (and really – how disgusting are those anyway?)

Yesterday, we went to go see Indiana Jones and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I’m sure we were the ones who pushed it over the $120 million dollar mark.

While I will try not to give any spoilers, I will comment. I must comment. If you haven’t seen it or don’t want to know my thoughts, you might want to stop reading now. If you want to comment on it or to know more – feel free to email me.

I’m glad it was Denton who said “mediocre”, because I knew if it came out of my mouth first, I would have been the person deemed to be too harsh.

That being said, Crystal Skull was better than either Temple of Gloom or the Last Crusade – but how could it not? I mean, nothing is going to really touch or top Raiders of the Lost Ark. The latter movie still ranks in my top ten movies….maybe top five.

There is clearly more Spielberg than Lucas in this film. When you see it you’ll know what I mean. At one point, I wrapped my fingers around an imaginary shaft and made jack-off motions it was so bad. Denton, who tends not to be happy with that stuff sometimes, even laughed. You’ll know exactly which scene I did that in too.

The great thing about Raiders was that it was steeped in biblical and historic legend. Crystal Skull may have been also – but only to a degree. Spielberg just cannot let AI go and he really really really really needs to. Really!

Where in Raiders, you were kind of on the edge of your seat or your pulse would race – that didn’t happen here. The action scenes weren’t bad – however, they were a little predictable. There was one that even Helen Keller would have rolled her eyes at.

Cate Blanchett was actually pretty good, as was Shia LaBeouf. Karen Allen, whom I thought was the best thing about Raiders, seemed kind of forced in this movie. But so was Harrison Ford. He’s more than showing his age and when Indy and Marion kissed, I turned and said, ‘wow, she almost knocked out his dentures’…which illicited another laugh.

I’m glad I saw it. I’m glad I saw it the first weekend it was out. It met, nay, exceeded, my expectations – which clearly weren’t high. It was ok, but nothing more.

Now, I’m looking forward to Sex and the City Wall-E.

Song by: Fleetwood Mac

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One response to “Crystal

  1. You look good in that hat. And if it makes you feel better, I’m almost a decade behind on movies. “American Beauty” & “Spiderman” are the only movies I’ve seen (in a theater) in the last 10 years.

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