Killing Me Softly

What last vacation little tid-bits can I drop on you?

There were five theaters with a rotation of five “shows”. That last word is in quotes, as it is questionable if these were actual entertainment. I’ve seen high school productions that were better. Way better.

One was history lesson of the Mayans. They just looked like Orcs with feathers.

After about 20 minutes, we left George and Morty to watch the rest on their own.

The next night was a “tribute” to Broadway shows. Morty and George left us to watch it before it even started.

Touche. Well played, sirs.

That show started off with selections for Grease. Or as they called it, Vaselineo. Or something like that. I kid you not. I’ve looked at on-line translation sites and none of them come close to this word. I think the cast was fucking with us.

It went as good as can be expected – which means horrible, of course. But that was still better than expected.

When they went into The Lion King, we were out of there.

The third night, well, we had all had a bunch to drink all day. But that night was karaoke. Yes, vacationers can get up and “sing”.

Now karaoke makes Morty very very nervous. I don’t think it has a thing to do with the fact that 18 years ago we did it in a Japanese restaurant (for the record, we sang Hamilton, Joe Frank & Reynolds’ classic – “Don’t Pull Your Love”). Anyway, it makes him uneasy.

…and it turns out, with good reason. When we walked in to some cat being put through a meat grinder, it turns out it was a woman just singing. If there had not been lyrics on the screen, I would have no idea what she was cater walling about. It seems it was the title of this post. I even turned to Mort and said, “it looks like I have the title of my next post!”. Ask him, he’ll verify this.

HORRID. She carried no tune and you could not make out a word she “sang”. (There are a lot of quotes today, aren’t there? They are deserved.) There was one decent singer, but she fell to the wayside with the guy behind her who “sang” “Harper Valley PTA” and the guy who followed him with Foreigner’s um…..um…..I forget. We all left. It was too painful.

The last two days were grey and even drizzly now and again. I am not complaining. We still sat poolside or on the beach hoping for some (or any) UV rays. We people watched. We had great discussions and laughed a lot. Oh – we also had like 6-8 daiquiris or some mixed drink. Sitting in sometime drizzle or wind was nothing.

The way we saw it, it was 80+ degrees there, and single digits at home (4 degrees when we landed). We were happy to be away.

The above image shows the only patch of blue that happened all day. This is not an exaggeration, nor is there more blue beyond what the picture shows. This was it. George got all excited about it and I got out the iPhone to document the historic event.

Also during this trip, I found the land of sleep. You know I don’t normally sleep, so this was all new to me. But I came to one big realization. At first it I thought it was because of no cats sleeping on me. Then I thought it was the sea air. Or a new time zone. But it was none of those.

It was because I didn’t have a job. Since I’m in between employment, I didn’t have to worry about what was waiting for me back at work or on my blackberry. Let’s face it – for many of us, being on vacation, we’re never really always there. This time I was. It was heaven! 7-8 hours at a time, which did not include naps at the beach or back in the room.

How do I do this in the future?

So now, just a few beach pictures to help you on this cold cold day. But as for vacation posts, I think this is the end.

All I could think when I took this was the Cure’s Staring at the Sea

Song by: Roberta Flack

Portrait

Everyone is doing it – and I’m nothing if not a follower.  I made my own Obama poster.  You can too.  Thanks Paste Magazine!

I probably would have done it anyway, but because I have been on vacation, I needed to get something up and running.

We came back from Mexico to a 69 degree deficit. Yes, it was 73 degrees when we got to the airport in Cancun and 4 when I got to my car in the parking lot in Cleveburgh.   It was a brutal awakening.

It got a lot more brutal when we got home and found someone had gotten stuck in our new landscaping and probably just spun their tires for quite a bit of time before getting free.  Was it the mailman?  Was it the dry cleaner?  I know it wasn’t the pet sitter.   I do, but don’t care about the $$$$ (ok, I do!), but I would have really liked someone to fess up to it with an apology.

So, I’ll probably do one last vacation post with a few more pics.  I’m so sorry it’s over.  But whatta gonna do?

Song by: Rosanne Cash

Better Be Home Soon

We are headed back this morning. Bummer.

We are headed back to single digit temps. And by single digit temps, it looks like 0. The high might reach 6. But then into the 20s. I will be missing the 80s – even if it is rainy or overcast.

I will miss George and Morty.

I always laugh so hard with Morty. He has always been one of the quickest and funniest people I have known – though I have surrounded myself with those likes. If you don’t have a great sense of humour, it would seem I have little tolerance for you. I’m just sayin’.

I miss our girls something awful – especially in this miserable weather. They need to know someone will be there to turn up the heat and cuddle with them.

There are a few days I will have to get myself situated for a new job. That’s a plus, but with the weather, I might be housebound a bit. We’ll see.

I’m sure I’ll have some follow-up thoughts on Mexico in the next day or so. Even more pics. Until then, see you back in the states.   …and here is one shot you get of me on the beach.

Song by: Crowded House

The Beach

More pictures for Riviera Maya. It beats having to think up stuff to actually write!

Believe it or not, they don’t have an office dedicated to ‘weeding’. But if you’re getting married – it is the place for you. If you’re Mayan.

Even I wanted to go up to this group of water aerobic guys and go, “Dudes, coming from a fag, I’m telling you – this is SO gay!”. The two girls there joined late into the program – and they never let go of their booze. They were one step away from being in The Accused.

There is an Iguana Crossing. This chap chose to ignore it!

My artsy-fartsy shot taken from the roof of our building. I’m not 100% sure I was allowed to be up there. Sue me.

Anyone lose a bikini top and hat? Anyone? Anyone??

Fish. Lots and lots of fish.

Song by: New Order

Picture This

Mexican Tony looks a lot butcher and a lot more angry than the Battle Creek, MI version.

Is it possible the Mayans used wheelchairs? I’m thinking not. I don’t know what the Mayan baby-changing station icon would look like.

I didn’t know about the pet policy here. Or as Denton mentioned, “didn’t George Michael do a song about that guy?” It was an odd and funny reference. Mostly because he isn’t great at that pop culture stuff. And it’s George Michael.

The other boys got here yesterday. Heading to breakfast now. I am sure I will update later. Probably tomorrow.

 

Song by:  Blondie

Mexican Radio

Mexican Radio

Ok, how many songs do I own that have the word ‘Mexico’, or some derivation of it, in the title? Not many. Apparently.

So far having a grand time. We’ve done nothing touristy – meaning side trips to Ruins or swimming with the dolphins. We have done a lot of walking, sleeping and swimming.

As you all might not know, I don’t sleep well usually, but here – man I’m telling you. I am out on the beach, by the pool, in a hammock or in bed. It’s almost amazing I’m not falling asleep at a buffet.

Here’s part of me in the hammock:

I’ve got legs, I know how to use them!

We left Cleveland with about 6″ of snow on the ground and it coming down heavily. Since we left the house before 5:00a, the roads had not been touched. The driving was treacherous (say like Frau Blucher), but we got there in plenty of time.

So we took off at 21 degrees Fahrenheit and landed at 84. It was a great trade-off. It’s been in the uppers 80s the entire time so far. We never thought to look if this is the rainy season or whatever. We just took off and it has been a hit so far.

Cleveland is supposed to get more snow and the temps hovering around zero. I’m good being where we are.

The place here is ginormous. Five hotels. Five pools. The pool we have is ok, but there are better ones. Like here: Not just because of this guy, but let’s face it, he don’t hurt the scenery.

We have just pool hopped and ate at the different hotels. We’re allowed, since we have that bracelet they make us wear.

Denton said he is now reconsidering where we retire to – as if we’re ever going to be able to retire. Not that he wants Riviera Maya, but maybe not a place that has four seasons. I think we’ve been watching too much House Hunters International.

So I will slather on the SPF 15. Yes, that’s as high as I’m going this trip. I want the colour. I want the Vitamin D. I want the melanoma! Clearly there are folks down here who make tanning an olympic event, but that’s not us.

We are waiting for Morty and George to arrive. With their arrival today will no longer double the gay couples in this place. There now seem to be quite a few two guy couples at dinner and at the pool. Gay? I can’t say – only speculate…….and judge. It’s what I do.

Song by: Wall of VooDoo

Mexico

Nothing much to report yet. Nothing much to do – but that was the intent.

Sun (there is). Surf (there is). Alcohol (oh yeah). Sleep (a lot).

The place is very nice and huge (that’s what she said!),but it’s not crowded. I don’t know if it is the economy, just after the holidays, or that we are in between big groups – but there are not many folks here. That’s ok unless you were intent on people-watching.

The staff here are great, though they slap a wristband on you like you’re waiting in line for Miley Cyrus (ït’s Miley!”) tickets! And it’s gold. So it is a cross between Jacki Collins and Lance Armstrong.

Alcohol and food are plentiful, but you get what you pay for – if you know what I mean. I’m happy having fruit and salad for all meals, so I’m good. But so far we’ve just done the buffets. I suspect we’ll upgrade a bit when Morty and George arrive tomorrow. yayyyyyy!!!!!

We might to the Ruins. We might just sit out and replenish our Vitamin D deficiency. We’ll see. I’m happy doing nothing.

More later – with pictures!!!

 

Song by: James Taylor

South of the Border (Down Mexico Way)

If you have ever read this blog over the (almost) last six years, you can count on one hand how many vacations I have taken….and probably still have two fingers left to twiddle with.

As a couple, this last year we have made a decision to be better about taking time off and getting away. We have found, taking time off and staying at home is not only unproductive to decompressing, but we end up working from home – if not around the house. Sometimes we do both. Usually we just don’t even schedule the time.

So, as I take leave from work, but before I start a new job, we have opted to take a week off in between and go to Mexico. Riviera Maya, to be specific.

I’ve never been. We’ve never been. But it looks purdy, no?

Fuck, I’m embarrassed to admit it, but except for Tijuana and Toronto, I’ve never left the U.S. I’ve got the passport, but I’ve never used it except for a second form of identification when signing house loan papers or filling out an I-9.

Tijuana was bit of a scare – for so many reasons (David’s hair colour, just for starters!). But we got out of there alive and in a way, I just almost assumed they might not let us back across the border into San Diego and I’d be stuck selling Chicklets or playing “La Bamba” to earn my keep.

So we leave today and will be there for six days. I will need a few days to mentally prep for a new job, a new environment, a new boss. Of course, there is always the chance I will have to recover from ingesting non-purified water. Maybe I will just stick with tequila and no ice.

The best thing about the vaca is that we won’t be alone. Nope, for 3-4 days we will overlap our stay with Morty and George. It’s not a complete accident, we both knew we had time and we tried to make it work – and we did. Denton has never vacationed with Morty – so g-d help us all.

As it goes, we’ll have a few days on our own, they’ll have a few days on theirs and in the middle we’ll find something to do that involves SPF 55, Ruins, dolphins and tequila.

Not necessarily in that order.

I have no idea if this place has wi-fi, so I have no idea if you guys will be hearing from me or not.

Fingers-crossed, eh?

Song by: Chris Isaak

Signs

I should have a better post for today, but I don’t.

I took my last work trip (in this job) yesterday and drove through lovely ice storms both ways. What should have been a 3.25 hour drive, took 4.75 hours. Tons of cars off the road. SUVs landing on their roofs. Seven car pile-ups. You name it.

I would have taken pictures of it all, but I wasn’t about to take my hands off the wheel.

But I finally get to my clinic and was sitting with my staff in their break room when I notice the sign they have hung on the door.

Yes, they are a crack staff – aren’t they?

I didn’t completely want to shame them, so I didn’t say anything, but someone must have seen me look at it, because when I came back to take picture of it, it was gone. Thrown away in the trash.

I was broken-hearted that you all would not see it, until I decided to retrieve it from said refuse can (it was sitting right on top – it wasn’t like I was dumpster diving).

Sorry gang, it’s all I’ve got for today.

Song by: Five Man Electrical Band

Rain

I’ve mentioned in previous posts that I’ve been on the road a lot lately. I will be gone more time in December than I am home. Or maybe now it will be about equal, as I am deferring one of my trips until mid-January (or so they think – but more on that in a week or so).

As always, most of the time has been in DC.  And for the kerjillions of times I have traveled there for work, I had only encountered rain (or bad weather) twice.  Once was last summer where I was treated to a cool-ass thunderstorm on one of the hottest days of the year.

The second time was this last week.  It was the Morton’s salt tagline:  when it rains it pours.   At times it seemed frickin’ biblical.

I love getting to DC in Winter (yes, technically I know it is not yet winter!) and it’s 65.  It was last January too, and everyone was bundled in their hats, gloves and scarves.  I laughed at them aloud.  They had it coming.

So anyhoo, it was 65 when I arrived on Wednesday.  Grey, but still…….     It had been in the 20s when I left Cleveburgh.  I’ll deal with grey.

Thursday however, not so pretty.  The temps from Ohio started to follow me, but DC is south enough where that precipitation that hit New England was rain and not snow or ice.  And it was a loto’rain.  They were expecting as much in one day as they’d normally get in a month.

I’m a good business traveler.  Even with all the good weather travel I have, an umbrella (ella-ella-ella) resides in my suitcase. I’ve just never used it.  Until the other day, that is.   It made it around DC and up to Silver Spring, before it died.   The thing just collapsed with no hope ofresuscitating it.  It was D.O.A.   FRICK!

5:30 p.m. in Silver Spring on a dark and rainy night is no time to go searching for an umbrella.  At first I thought I could make it to the Metro, but it was a deluge.  So I walked towards shopping the opposite direction.  It was a deluge.  My suit was soaked.

Many a store later, I finally found a little Totes in a DSW.  The last black one.  The rest were pink and red and some other girly colour (hush all of you!).   DSW sells their rain cover gear in the women’s section of the store, I guess because real men don’t mind getting wet.

But I am a delicate flower.  Spun sugar, even.   I could melt in the rain.

Closer to reality – I’m the Wicked Witch of the West.   An evil crone…..and yet I still melt in the rain.

The temps had also dropped.  As I walked yet again in the direction of the red line, my hands were freezing and it seemed not long before the water turned to ice.  But it never crossed that threshold.

I got back to my hotel (this time, with no straight folks bumping uglies in the room) just to warm up and take off my suit and hope it dried before I had to pack it.  Either way, it’s going to the dry cleaner.   I just kept looking out the window into the dark, catching rain hitting puddles near the glow of street lights.

I ordered room service.  I wasn’t going out in that.   The food was as room service normally is: bad.  I should have ventured out into the cold and wet and just found some hole in the wall place to grab some chow.

The next morning, while New England had lost most of its power, DC was dry.  No rain.  Cold, but no rain.  And when I say cold, they were DC cold, not NE Ohio cold.

And now I was home for a little more than a day – and today I am off to Miami.   Don’t get too excited – it is all work.  Maybe a few hours to myself.  I could not find a plane to get me there before my three hour meeting, so I get to spend the night!   Whoo—–hooo?

Song by: Patty Griffin