Category Archives: Holidays

The Ballad of Michael Valentine

Today is the most sacred of made up holidays.   And this year it is falling on a Saturday.

If you haven’t gotten your dinner reservations made yet, be ready to break out the white belt and shoes, because you’ll be going to the Early Early Bird Special.

You’ll be back home by 5:30p.  Lucky you.

VD means nothing to me, or us.  There might be a card, but if not, it is not the end of the world.  It’s no biggie.   We’re certainly not fighting the crowds to go out – even if we did pre-plan……..which we didn’t.

No doubt I’ll hit the gym today and then maybe a matinee movie.  The former would keep me in condition to live to see another VD, the latter, well, that will keep me on track for my one movie per month deal I’ve got going in my head – even though we always lose that deal before end of the year.

I don’t have to ask him to ‘Bee Mine’.  He already is.   He ain’t going nowhere.    … least I don’t think he is.

Song by: the Killers

One Small Year

Here we are – a new day, a new month, a new year. Yeehaw.

2008 for a nation and for a planet, was pretty sucky. I can’t complain myself, for my situation, as so many had it so much worse. Sure, my 401k is deader than Joe Piscopo‘s career, but it has some time to rebound (say, unlike Joe!).

I not only had and kept a job in 2008, but was courted for another one, which I have accepted. It is not lost on me that in these times how fortunate one is to have a job, let alone opportunities.

An unscientific CNN poll finds that the majority of folks are optimistic about this new year. How could people not feel more hopeful? There is almost nowhere to go but up.

The best thing about ’08 had to be Obama’s win. Naturally, that was off-set by Prop 8, but I can’t get my partner to marry me anyway, so I’m not really losing anything here. He can’t make an honest man out of me, but that is no fault of his, the voters or the courts. It’s just me.

….though I could really use the Calphalon set I would have registered for!

Honestly, I’m happy just to be. I mean, not too happy. Don’t people use these blogs to bitch and moan?

I need 2nd breakfast. I’ll be back. Not today, but soon.

Song by: Shawn Colvin

New Year’s Eve

Another year come and gone. Where does the time go?

It’s rhetorical – don’t bother to answer.

The year was pretty good, overall.  At least nothing bad happened – at least to us.  No one died.  No one was fired.  No one got really ill.   In this day and age, sometimes that’s all you can ask for.

We will celebrate all of this by doing nothing.   Yeah – you heard me.  Nothing.

While it would be fun to go out and drink, New Year’s Eve isn’t the time to do it.  The night is for amateurs.  It is a reason to drink.   I don’t need a reason.  I never have.  Mores the pity, I guess.

In the past I’ve had some pretty fun and pretty heinous year end celebrations.  It really is ok to sit back and watch one pass without instance. At midnight, we’ll be in bed, no doubt, wondering if the noise we hear are fireworks or gun fire.  It’s a 50/50 chance where we live.   As long as no stray bullets pass through our windows, I’m sure how much I care which it is.

I will work most of the day.  I have got things to wrap up in the office. I’ve been doing it the last two weeks.  I have one more to go.  But I’ll be leaving early for the “holiday’.  I ain’t staying all day.  As it is, there is barely anyone in the office these days.  No one will notice meboogey-ing out early.   What are they gonna do if I do leave before end of day – fire me?

Anyhoo – the 31st is just a day to mark an end of some calendar year – be it Julian, Georgian of Fiscal.

Whatever you choose to do for the evening, be good, be safe.  Come back next year.

Song by: Nina Gordon

The Boxer

Today is Boxing Day in Canada.  Actually, in more than just Canada, but most UK run or formerly run areas.  Perhaps not India.

As it turns out, it has nothing to do with the dog breed, pugilists, or a certain kind of underwear.   Go figure.

The funny thing isn’t that I knew it was Boxing Day, but how I found out it was.

I got an email from HMV – which to be honest, I didn’t even know was still in existence.  I used to purchase a number of CDs there from on-line.  You could find stuff there that amazon didn’t carry….and this was back in the day when the exchange rate worked in my favour.   It no longer does, and I would be hard pressed to find anything that they have as a stocked item that I can’t find easier somewhere else.  I’ve also been gravitating towards the non-physical aspect of music.  I am more apt to buy it indownloadable fashion than to have the jewel case et al.

But yes, HMV is having a Boxing Day sale.   If it were a Boxer-Brief Day Sale – they might have more of my interest.

Song by: Simon & Garfunkel

(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (to Party)

Though we had the right, we didn’t fight. Not for this year’s holiday party that we usually have. The stars were not aligned for it to happen, though I suppose we could have tried a little harder.

Between my current job and its travel, my transition into a new job and that the holiday is falling in the middle of a week, there wasn’t much of a chance to get our friends together for this year. Not that we needed a huge turn-out. Whomever we invite and however many can show is just fine.

But I also didn’t want to do it half-assed either. So it kind of passed us by as much as we passed it by.

Yesterday was our big family get together. Today, it is just Denton and myself – sleeping in, hanging out, doing some gift exchange. Somewhere in between we made French Freedom toast.  But we are all for the pagan aspects of the holiday.  We love the tree and its 1000 lights.  (all those gifts are not ours – we had 20 folks over last night, plus my parent’s birthday.)

….and ladies and germs, I present the longest kitty kat in the world…….

Song by: the Beastie Boys

Jacob Marley’s Chain

It’s only a few hours until the ghosts of xmas past, present and future being to visit us. Consider this your visit from Ebenezer’s deceased business partner.

Basically, isn’t Marley just the predecessor for the line, ‘be good, for goodness sake’? ….by about 90 years?

I’m not a huge fan of A Christmas Carol. I’m not sure why. It’s down, for the most part – which I’m a fan of. Maybe I’m just not a fan of the holiday itself.

I do view this more of a family gathering than any true holiday – religious or otherwise.  Today is my mother’s birthday.  Today is one of my brother-in-law’s birthdays.  Yesterday was my father’s birthday.

I am happy to host (i wrote ‘hots’) the event and just sit around and eat and drink.  But first clean.  I guess I should get on that.

Song by: Aimee Mann


It’s that time. Today is the first day of Winter.

Not be my father (but hell, it seems to be a fate I cannot and will not escape), after today, the days start to get longer!!!!   I could have conjured up a picture of a pretty winter’s day.  Not from here though.  It’s cold, but not white and not pretty either.   Lots of ice around though, as you may have gathered from yesterday’s post.

Today is also the first day of Hanukkah. (this is the spelling that I prefer.  there are others, of course.)

All I got to show for it is my Jewish Troll.   I’ve had him and his xmas pal for almost two decades at this point.  They make an appearance for about 2 weeks of the year – and then as Pee Wee Herman would say to Grace Jones, ‘back in the box!’.

…and speaking of, it is almost time for the annual viewing of the entire Pee Wee’s Christmas Special – which by the way, is the bestest holiday special of all time.  Charo, Cher, Dinah Shore, kd lang, Grace Jones, Princess Zsa Zsa, Miss Yvonne, Reba the Maillady, Cowboy Curtis, the jewish dinosaur family, Frankie & Annette (before her MS kicked in!), Little Richard, Whoopi and the Del Rubio triplets.

It does not get more star*-studded or gayer than that.  Seriously, do yourself a favour and go to amazon and order it.

*’star’ is such a relative term, isn’t it?

Song by: Tori Amos

Sad Songs

Is it any wonder that mental health, or lack thereof, runs rampant in this country?   Especially around the holidays?  Or winter?

So while looking for some gifts in Barnes & Noble the other day, I stumbled upon this little ditty.  Nice, huh?

Cause nothing give person more self-esteem and more of a natural “can do” attitude than calling them a ‘dummy’.

And really, should it not at least be called Overcoming Depression for Dummies?   Or do you think it is for people who want to become depressed and just don’t know how to be a sad sack?  It is like ‘Swimming for Diabetes’.  You’re not swimming to get the disease!

It’s ok to get down during the holidays…or winter.  They are stressful and it is cold and bleak outside.  Dickens didn’t call it Bleak House for nothing.

I find that alcohol helps.   And cookies.

Song by:  the Frames

Site of the Month

Why not make the SotM a seasonal one? I think last December I did the Office Max – Go Elf Yourself one for you folks. Or as Morty called it, Dancin’ with my Elf.

So David G brings to you, via me,  a new creepy version in the form of Macy’s Department Stores.

It is from their Believe campaign – which someone in Cleveburgh has already condemned because it makes it seem to little kids that Santa doesn’t exist in the first place.

Fuck, man – get a life!

I could probably never get my beard this long (oh yes, David was kind enough to use my own picture for this endeavour), but the going grey part is slowly creeping upon me – mostly in my beard.  Not so much the hair…..not that it would take much, obviously.

You can build your own Santa at the above link, or you can watch the one David built of me right here.


Thanks to You

Ugh.  Another T-giving post.  This makes what – five now?

I feel when I get to holidays like this, the posts are forced – as I’m supposed to have something insightful to say.  And I don’t.

….haven’t you people been paying attention???????

Sure, I’m grateful for having a great partner and two somewhat loving cats.  I have a decent family – and incredible friends.  And fuck – this year, I still have a job, so that’s saying something in these dark times.   I ain’t complaining.

I’m thankful that it is almost January 20th.  …and that I’ve only been to the ER once this year and that my permanent crown is going to be on in less than two weeks.

So this afternoon, I’ll have to endure two of my sisters – but that can be done….and even with no alcohol, if I chose.  IF.    And yes, I’ll have to eat the blandest, monochromatic meal that was ever devised.

I’m making salad.

What?  Not a big deal to you?   It is to me.  We don’t have salad traditionally on T-giving.  So fuck if I’m not bringing something I’ll eat…..or that I’ll want to eat.    But there will be pie also.  No pumpkin for me though.  I can spackle the walls with that stuff, but I ain’t ingesting it.

But whatever your traditions are, and whatever you’re thankful for – enjoy the day.

Song by: Emmylou Harris