Lost

I’ve mentioned here more than once about having self-diagnosed OCD.   It isn’t really as much about washing things over and over as it is about repetition and well….repetition.

Going to the gym is just as ritualistic for me as any other task.  How I pack my bag, as to how I unpack it and put stuff in the locker.  I want it so when I come out of the shower, the clean undies, t-shirt and socks are right there for me.  My keys, wallet, ID and iPhone are in a certain place – as is my tie after I get my suit on.

So maybe it is the change in my morning routine that has me all bamboozled.   I am used to getting up early, but not really doing a thing except reading the paper – and having the same cereal every single morning.  Repetition.

But for the last four weeks, two days a week, I am at the gym by 06:00.  In the last two weeks, I’ve either left my wallet at home, or forgotten a change of underwear.  This is unlike me.

Yesterday was ‘abs day’.  I still do my cardio and upper body stuff, but I’ve been incorporating abdominal routines into the workout.  I am so gonna be a looker.

My gym is right across the street from an entrance to my workplace.  In the side pocket of my gym bag, I keep my wallet and my ring.  I know I shouldn’t take my ring off, but I hate wearing it while using the weights and machines.

In the lobby of the building is one of those big kinetic sculptures – the kind with the like eight balls that drop, spin, go down windy slides and make all kinds of noise.  It sounds like this doesn’t matter, but trust me, it will.

I stop in the cafeteria to pick up a little box of raisin bran and head to my office to eat it.  Up there, I realize I didn’t put on my precious.  I dig into my gym bag and there was nothing there.  I call the gym to have them check the locker room, but they found nothing.

It was then I remember digging into my gym bag to get my wallet for the damned box of raisin bran.  It was then I remember hearing a dinging noise near the kinetic sculpture….a dinging noise that was not from the sculpture.

I flew down seven flights of stairs and over two buildings, but for nothing.   I looked and I looked but it is hard to see silver on a white terrazzo floor.  Oh, and that a few hundred people were coming into work and had a few hundred opportunities to kick it across a lobby.

Frick!

I was sick about it.

I called security, but really did not think anything would come of that.  In these economic hard times, it would not have surprised me that someone found it and would hawk it for a 32 oz bottle of malt liquor…..or rent.  Whichever.

I did try to call Denton to tell him, but the man never picks up his cell.   Ruckiry (not Jon’s boss), an hour later, security called – they had it!   An hour after that, I went down between meetings to get it.

They gave me the name of the guy who turned it in, so now I guess I owe him.   My “friends” had some crass ideas of how I should repay him.  Kris was hoping he’ll be 25 and hot.  I am hoping for 35.

Morty’s idea of Starbucks gift card was the only legitimate one….and a good one at that.  I think I’ll up it 10x more than the $2 Mort suggested.

And it seems I will have a new ritual.  Working out with my ring firmly in place.

Song by: Sarah McLachlan

I’m Just a Girl

I do not necessarily mean to disparage a gender or come across as misogynistic, but oy do I hate being the only male in a meetings with a group of women.

In my last job, I led quarterly meetings for one of my clients.  More often than not,  I was the only male in group of 10-15 people.   The meeting were schedule to last two hours.  They always went over – sometimes by three hours.   I always narrowed it down to having 14 women going of topic and being unable to reign them in.   It was painful.

Yesterday, I was in training at my new job.  The first two sessions were great.  But it me, a male trainer and one woman.   The third session was 15 folks.  14 women and me.  This training should have taken 90 minutes.  Actually, it should take less, but when you have a group, I get you need to buffer in that additional time.

This took three hours.  First off, a third of them showed up after the start time.  Almost none of them turned off their cellphones, even though large signage indicated that it was a must.  And then with the questions.  Always with the questions.

Mind you, if they showed up on time or actually listened – there’d be none of this.  It’s like they didn’t have half a brain in their head.

I’m assuming you’ve all been in training classes and worked in some kind of training environment – right?  The developers put in made-up names and situations.  Almost always these names are famous folks and for some reason it makes people chuckle, though never me.

I will give you one of the highlights, but one that illustrates their inability to grasp simple concepts:   they could not figure out that ‘George Clooney ‘ was not really in the purchasing department.  And all the questions that followed.  I couldn’t help but flash on Malibu Stacy saying, “Don’t ask me, I’m just a girl!”  and then her giggling.

I do not find women to be stupid in general, but man they sure picked them with this group.  I think the women I know – truly know – would have beat these women senseless had they been in this training session.

And they could have gotten away with calling them “stupid”.  I’m not sure I can.  Can I?

Song by: No Doubt

Work

Snap!

No, not in that sassy black girl way.  More like in that, I’m on my way to my first day of work, almost out the door, and my shoelace breaks, way.

Frick!

I said to Denton, ‘well this seems like an omen’.  He claimed it wasn’t.  But then I went down to the campus where I’ll be working and where I thought my orientation was.   It wasn’t.  Strike Two.

Honest, I looked at my instructions, but clearly not good enough.  I went to where the second day was to be held, not the first.  Oy.   I take complete fault for the fuck-up, but to be fair, the map they included was only for day two.  The written instructions were clear.  Still – why only one map?  Ruckiry, (not Jon’s boss) I am always early for these things, and I made the 25 minute drive to the actual location with time to spare.  Don’t you want me running your department?

Time enough to end up sitting through seven hours of mind-numbing ‘welcome’ classes and benefits talks.  Snore.  In all my years, they’ve never taught me anything that couldn’t have just been put into an info packet.

Yesterday, I got to sit through four more hours.  Shoot me.   Then believe it or not, I had to go to my first contract negotiation discussion over in Youngstown – two hours away.  Nothing like throwing me right into it.   I haven’t even seen my office yet.  That is today.

This will be interesting.   I am still not 100% sure what I’ve gotten myself into, but what the heck.

Song by: Jimmy Eat World

When the Sun Goes Down

This was going to be called Don’t Let The Sun Go Down on Me, but since it is either Elton John or George Michael with Elton John (depending on the version you prefer), it would have just gone into Don’t Let Your Son Go Down on Me – and that just wouldn’t have been a good thing.

But the sun is going down – on this job.  Today.  At 3:00-ish.

Yeah, the workday “ends” at 5:00p, but that ain’t happening.  I’ll be in a bar by 3:30 if I can help it.

My going away party starts at 5:00p, but I’ll have a head start with some chosen people before the masses arrive.

Well, I don’t know if there will be masses of folks or not.  Many were invited, but I do not know who has accepted.  I didn’t organize it. Had I, it would have been more selective, for sure.

I guess it is nice they think enough of me to have a going away get together.  Some folks just slink out of the office with no anything.  To be honest, I’d be ok with that too.   I’ve met some folks here who I know will be friends for life – and how often can you say that about co-workers?

Yeah – that’s what I thought.

I also had my exit interview.  A regular HR person didn’t even do it.  No, the head of HR wanted to be the one.  And I got lunch out of it – so it was a win-win.

She asked me to be candid (duh!).  I’m not leaving due to any issue gone-wrong, but I did express concerns about some company aspects.   I was asked that if my new job isn’t all that, would I consider coming back.   She went on about my level of commitment and high ability.

This was the third or fourth time in as many days I’ve heard something similar.  I swear, I’m not that guy – the one who needs that pat on the back.  That’s not what motivates me.  But truth be told, it was kind of nice to hear.

The irony of the afternoon of course, was that while at lunch, the parent company CEO announced 1,000 people would be laid off.

Song by: the Graces

Signs

I should have a better post for today, but I don’t.

I took my last work trip (in this job) yesterday and drove through lovely ice storms both ways. What should have been a 3.25 hour drive, took 4.75 hours. Tons of cars off the road. SUVs landing on their roofs. Seven car pile-ups. You name it.

I would have taken pictures of it all, but I wasn’t about to take my hands off the wheel.

But I finally get to my clinic and was sitting with my staff in their break room when I notice the sign they have hung on the door.

Yes, they are a crack staff – aren’t they?

I didn’t completely want to shame them, so I didn’t say anything, but someone must have seen me look at it, because when I came back to take picture of it, it was gone. Thrown away in the trash.

I was broken-hearted that you all would not see it, until I decided to retrieve it from said refuse can (it was sitting right on top – it wasn’t like I was dumpster diving).

Sorry gang, it’s all I’ve got for today.

Song by: Five Man Electrical Band

Guilt is a Useless Emotion

This whole thing about leaving my job has evoked an emotion in me which normally remains absent: Guilt

I think that’s what I’m feeling.

Taking my soon to be new job is the right decision.  This I believe (maybe I should do an NPR piece!).  But for the most part, I think you tell your boss you are leaving and that is usually where it ends.   Not me.

I have, or get, to tell my remote work sites – the folks who report to me.  There are 17 of those.  I also get to tell the 12 clients that are associated with those sites.  So, I get to have this conversation about 30 times.

Yayyyyyyyyyy! ?

Oddly enough, I find myself apologizing for leaving.  Why is this?

I’ve thought about it, albeit, not tons, or deeply.  But each time I dial that last number of whomever I’m calling, I get a small knot in my gut, at least momentarily.  I haven’t even told most of the people in my home office.   I kind of want to just slink away at the end of next week and go gently into that good night.

I would like to think there are one half dozen of folks I worked with at this job that I can keep in touch with.  I know that is probably a high number.  Everyone wants that, but I just don’t think that normally happens.   Half of that half dozen would be anok number.  At least they’d be the ones I really would do things with.

Missing my areas and some co-workers must be a testament to liking whom I work with.  But why feel guilty about it?

Pish!

Song by: New Order

How to Quit

I’d say I neglected to tell my readership this story, but I haven’t. Honestly, I’ve been waiting for a day where I get more readers. I don’t get tons of hits anyway, and even less on the weekends. So………

I quit my job this last Friday.

To be honest, it was bittersweet. The folks in the Cleveland office were some of the best folks I’ve ever worked with. Well, a handful of them were, but they were people I really enjoyed sitting near or traveling with.

The reality is, since we were acquired eight months ago, my career has become a job. Extremely little room for advancement and even if so, we’re looking at that in maybe five years. Maybe.

I have been pseudo-alluding to my doing a casual interview process lately. ‘Casual’ might be too strong of a word for it. Laid-back might be too intense, even.

My soon to be new employer called me almost seven months ago and we have been in discussions ever since – whenever they got around to it, or I was in town to talk with them.

Oddly enough, for the most part, this was fine with me. It is not like last time when I was unemployed and needed the job. This time I had a job, a good one, but one that has morphed into something very different than what I had signed up for. So moving slow was not a bad thing in this case.

….unless you were Becky. She has been dying to tell her sister-in-law that I will now be working with her (the sister in law, not with Becky).

So anyhoo, after I got the results from my pre-employment drug screen back, which were contingent upon the actual job, I went in and gave my notice to my kind of boss. I’ve reported to him the last 18 months, but I now have a new boss out of NYC whom I barely know and have rarely seen, but she was on vacation.

“Marty” wasn’t really shocked, or didn’t show it, when I told him. He got it and was ok with it – maybe because technically I was no longer his direct report. He also wanted to tell my new boss, which was ok….with me and with him. As it turns out, not so much for her. She can be as pissed at me as she wants (and she is), but I only have to endure her for three more weeks and there are holidays and vacation days scheduled in there….and weekends. Bring it on.

Like my last jobs, going forward, I won’t be telling you much detail. Unlike my last job, I won’t be traveling. That is a good thing and a bad one. In theory, I really enjoyed the travel part and became quite the astute business traveler. But in the last two months or so, I was beginning to dread some of my trips. I also go back to wearing suits five days per week – for me, this isn’t a bad thing. I like suits. I was never into the business casual look.

So, the plan is be at current company for three more weeks and then take a week off before starting the new job. I’m more excited than nervous. I was more nervous about giving my notice – as deep down, there were certain co-workers and clients I really do not want to let down. I still yearn for validation and acceptance.

I know how extremely fortunate I am, especially in this economy, not only to have a job, but to have the ability and opportunity to move into a new position. None of this is lost on me.

So – three more weeks and counting. And then, I think we will be taking a week away before staring a new endeavour.

Song by: Sam Phillips

Rain

I’ve mentioned in previous posts that I’ve been on the road a lot lately. I will be gone more time in December than I am home. Or maybe now it will be about equal, as I am deferring one of my trips until mid-January (or so they think – but more on that in a week or so).

As always, most of the time has been in DC.  And for the kerjillions of times I have traveled there for work, I had only encountered rain (or bad weather) twice.  Once was last summer where I was treated to a cool-ass thunderstorm on one of the hottest days of the year.

The second time was this last week.  It was the Morton’s salt tagline:  when it rains it pours.   At times it seemed frickin’ biblical.

I love getting to DC in Winter (yes, technically I know it is not yet winter!) and it’s 65.  It was last January too, and everyone was bundled in their hats, gloves and scarves.  I laughed at them aloud.  They had it coming.

So anyhoo, it was 65 when I arrived on Wednesday.  Grey, but still…….     It had been in the 20s when I left Cleveburgh.  I’ll deal with grey.

Thursday however, not so pretty.  The temps from Ohio started to follow me, but DC is south enough where that precipitation that hit New England was rain and not snow or ice.  And it was a loto’rain.  They were expecting as much in one day as they’d normally get in a month.

I’m a good business traveler.  Even with all the good weather travel I have, an umbrella (ella-ella-ella) resides in my suitcase. I’ve just never used it.  Until the other day, that is.   It made it around DC and up to Silver Spring, before it died.   The thing just collapsed with no hope ofresuscitating it.  It was D.O.A.   FRICK!

5:30 p.m. in Silver Spring on a dark and rainy night is no time to go searching for an umbrella.  At first I thought I could make it to the Metro, but it was a deluge.  So I walked towards shopping the opposite direction.  It was a deluge.  My suit was soaked.

Many a store later, I finally found a little Totes in a DSW.  The last black one.  The rest were pink and red and some other girly colour (hush all of you!).   DSW sells their rain cover gear in the women’s section of the store, I guess because real men don’t mind getting wet.

But I am a delicate flower.  Spun sugar, even.   I could melt in the rain.

Closer to reality – I’m the Wicked Witch of the West.   An evil crone…..and yet I still melt in the rain.

The temps had also dropped.  As I walked yet again in the direction of the red line, my hands were freezing and it seemed not long before the water turned to ice.  But it never crossed that threshold.

I got back to my hotel (this time, with no straight folks bumping uglies in the room) just to warm up and take off my suit and hope it dried before I had to pack it.  Either way, it’s going to the dry cleaner.   I just kept looking out the window into the dark, catching rain hitting puddles near the glow of street lights.

I ordered room service.  I wasn’t going out in that.   The food was as room service normally is: bad.  I should have ventured out into the cold and wet and just found some hole in the wall place to grab some chow.

The next morning, while New England had lost most of its power, DC was dry.  No rain.  Cold, but no rain.  And when I say cold, they were DC cold, not NE Ohio cold.

And now I was home for a little more than a day – and today I am off to Miami.   Don’t get too excited – it is all work.  Maybe a few hours to myself.  I could not find a plane to get me there before my three hour meeting, so I get to spend the night!   Whoo—–hooo?

Song by: Patty Griffin

Fool’s Story

I’m not sure who the fool is in this story. Stories. I guess I could milk these tales of travel out for 2-4 posts, but I’d even be bored with them at that point.

During my NYC work sessions, I attended a holiday party for 140 or so staff members in the area.  It was to be heavy hors d’oeuvers, and a bar.  A cash bar after you used the two tickets they provided.  I get it, there is liability involved.

Their idea of “heavy” and mine were not the same thing.  The heaviest thing was a very very very mini kobe beef burger – which wasn’t very good.  Most things were the size of (small) Bugles (remember those?) filled w/”spicy artichoke”   It wasn’t spicy and it didn’t taste like artichoke…but cheese.

But I didn’t know that this was the only food – I kept assuming the heavy stuff would come out eventually – it didn’t.  But in the mean time, I used my two drink tickets.  And my co-worker’s who doesn’t drink tickets.  Then two more that the door person just gave to me and another one I found on the floor.

All the while, I had nothing to absorb that alcohol.  I wasn’t drunk they way most of my friends would classify “drunk”, but to a mere mortal…..well…….

Here’s what I looked like at 8a the next morning after boarding Amtrak.

And I took that Amtrak to DC, where I then took a car ride to Richmond.  There I took one of my staffs to their holiday festivities.  It is a smaller staff, so their spouses or significant others could attend.  Did I mention it was Richmond?  This folks, is Southern Virginia.   The part that voted for overwhelmingly for McCain.

My staff loves me, but the rest of the town…well, they might not.

Before getting there, some folks I traveled with go, “are you going to wear a tie?”  I answered affirmatively, but not the kind one might be thinking.  I went for something a little more non-traditional.

It is possible that no one, save Jon, has seen this tie.  …and even I had not seen it lately – and I haven’t worn it in at least a decade and have owned it for almost two:

Yes, I am not a big fan of your lord and saviour, and yes, I wear this for kitsch.  It was a crap shoot what folks would think of it.   My lead nurse BURST out laughing when she saw it (and me) – she got it.  Some per diem staff I barely knew thought it was a great tie – but mostly because they thought  I was being respectful.

My absolute favouritist moment was when one of the husbands goes, “who’s that?”  I loved him immediately!!

He eventually figured it out for himself, but I did somewhat correct him in that it was only a likeness of what people assume g-d jr. to be.  Most northern africans aren’t fair-skinned and have honey blonde hair.

….are they?

Song by: Rachel Sweet

New York City

I told you guys I was going to New York – right?

It was for work, but I can never go to that city and just work. What’s the fun of that?

To use an already overused phrase: I love New York. I always think I really love DC (and I do), but there is no place better than NYC. It is not an insult when I say it has a smell all its own. Almost 30 years of going to the city and if you got me there blindfolded, I’d know we were in Manhattan.

It’s a shame I can never afford to live there, unless it’s in squalor.  I don’t do that……..anymore.

But I got to town early.  Work wasn’t until late afternoon, so I got to walk around the city and do some stuff.  I had plans with family – real and assumed.

I met my sister for lunch – which was great, but she did pick the most populated area in all of the island.  Yes, it was right across from Rockefeller Center…….on the day of the tree lighting.   The place was a madhouse.  Tourists everywhere, already camped out to watch what looked to me like a very unimpressive tree.   TV must add something to the aura, but in person, it was just a tree.

Here I am with my half sister.  Well half OF my sister.  She’s my whole sister.  That was my attempt at a self-shot.  See how well it came out?  Themaitre d took a better shot, but since I didn’t axe her permission to post it, I opted no to.  Normally, I think we look quite a bit alike, but I don’t think this picture shows that.

We’ve been to this restaurant before, since well, her married family has a lot to do with it, and usually when I get there first, they go: “oh, you must be Adrienne’s brother” – that is how much we usually look alike.

We had a great meal, but more importantly we had a good time for the 90 minutes we had together.  She had to get back to work and I had to jump on a conference call.  But even an hour and a half is great.

After my work function, I bolted from the group and went to visit David G. ….and Duck.  They were just back from Paris and other places in Europe.   They’ve been in their new apartment for about a year and this part of the view from their 34th floor pad.

We were all tired, so we just hung out – along with their two cocker spaniels.  They were both really really cute. Both were rescues – one became blind and had to have its eyes removed.  She was still really cute and gets around remarkably well.  The other one was just all over me.  I loved it.

I’ve known David longer than any of my friends.  24 years, plus.  I hate to say we never see each other enough, but we never did back in the day and the friendship still works.  So hanging out and doing nothing was just fine with me.

The rest of the trip was all work.  And it wasn’t all that fun.  I’m glad I stole away the time I could.

Song by: John Lennon